Hahaha! A very funny bathroom!

In case you don’t see why, just take a look at where the toilet paper is….

An American, an Australian and a Canadian were sitting in a bar enjoying a few beers.

The American grabbed his Budweiser beer, knocked it back in one gulp, threw the glass into the air, and shot it with his handgun. As he set the gun on the bar, he said to the Australian and the Canadian, “In the great U.S. of America we have so much money, we never drink out of the same glass twice”.

Next the Australian drank his Fosters beer, threw the glass into the air, and shot the glass with the American`s gun. As he was setting the gun back on the bar, he proclaimed, “In Australia, we have so much sand that glass is cheap, and we too never drink out of the same glass twice”.

Finally, the Canadian drank his Labatts Blue beer, grabbed the gun off the bar, and shot the American. As he was setting the gun back on the bar, he told the Australian, “In Canada, we have so many Americans, we never have to drink with the same one twice”.

Received by e-mail from Michelle Baudoin. Thanks!

Wow! This is impressive. Here are some pictures of the longest roadtrains in the world.

These big road trains are mostly used in the USA, Canada, Australia and Argentina to carry huge loads.

Added to the Funny World Record page!

Sid and Mundo were sitting in a Mexican restaurant. “Sid,” asked Mundo, “Are there any Jews in Mexico?”

I don’t know,” Mundo replied. “Why don’t we ask the waiter?”

When the waiter came by, Mundo asked him, “Are there any Mexican Jews?”

“I don’t know sir, let me ask,” the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen. He returned in a few minutes and said, “No, sir. No Mexican Jews.”

“Are you sure?” Mundo asked.

“I will check again, sir.” the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.

While he was still gone, Sid said, “I cannot believe there are no Jews in Mexico. Our people are scattered everywhere.”

When the waiter returned he said, “Sir, no Mexican Jews.”

“Are you really sure?” Mundo asked again. “I cannot believe there are no Mexican Jews.”

“Sir, I ask everyone,” the waiter replied exasperated. “We have orange Jews, prune Jews, tomato Jews, and grape Jews, but no one ever hear of Mexican Jews!”

1. There would be a “Rehearsal Kegger” rather than a “Rehearsal Dinner.”
2. Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jeans cutoffs and halter tops. They would have NO tan lines.
3. Tuxes would have team logos on the back and the Nike shoes would have matching team colors. (My fiance threatened to have his and his brother’s football numbers embroidered on their tuxes! I threatened to walk out but he said I wouldn’t see it until after we said our vows so I’d be stuck then!)
4. June weddings would be scheduled around basketball play-offs
5. Vows would mention cooking and sex specifically, but omit that “forsaking all others” part.
6. The couple would leave the ceremony in a souped up ‘73 Charger or some other Mopar muscle car with racing tires and flame designs on the side of the car. Better yet, a Harley!
7. Idiots who tried to dance with the bride (unless they were really old) would get punched in the head.
8. Big, slobbery dogs would be eligible for the role of “Best Man.”
9. There would be “Tailgate Receptions.”
10. Outdoor weddings would be held during sporting events at half-time or between innings.
11. Ceremonies would be short and honeymoons would be long.
12. Ceremonies and honeymoons would be inexpensive compared to the cost of the bachelor party. (Those strippers and all that alcohol sure add up!!!)
13. Men wouldn’t ask, “Well, what do you think, dear? The burgundy or the wine colored napkins?” They’d just grab extras from their local pub or tavern.
14. Favors would be matchbooks and cigars. Better yet, free drink passes at the local lounge.
15. The bride’s dress would show cleavage, her navel, and be form-fitted to her butt.
16. Instead of a sit-down dinner or a buffet, there would be a hog roast or buckets of chicken, pizza and plenty of bar-b-que.
17. No one would bother with that “Veil Routine.” But they would insist that the garter be as high up on her leg as it could go.
18. The bridal bouquet would be recycled from a previous funeral or something.
19. Invitations would read as follows: Tom (Dick or Harry) is getting the ol’ ball and chain. He’s getting married.
He either:
A) knocked her up; B) couldn’t get a different roommate; or C) caved in to her ultimatum.
Please meet the woman who will cook and clean for him for the rest of his life at Texas Stadium On the 50 Yard Line at half-time during Sunday’s Game. Please join us at the Clubhouse after the game For beer, nachos and pizza. Oh yeah, BYOB.

Wow! It looks like you can now be very young to begin plumbing courses! This kids seems good though. He has the tools, the determination, and the pants!

Is this BatSuper, SuperBat or something else? I guess it is just another product made too quickly in China….

1. You became an atheist when you were 10 years old, based on ideas of God that you learned in Sunday School. Your ideas about God haven’t changed since.

2. You think that the primary aim of an omni-benevolent God is for people to have FUN.

3. Although you’ve memorized a half a dozen proofs that He doesn’t exist, you still think you’re God’s gift to the ignorant masses.

4. You believe the astronomical size of the universe somehow disproves God, as if God needed a tiny universe in order to exist.

5. You spend hours arguing that atheism actually means “without a belief in God ” and not just ” belief that there is no god”, as if this is a meaningful distinction in real life.

6. You can make the existence of pink unicorns the center-piece of a philosophical critique.

7. You’re a spoiled fifteen year old boy who lives in the suburbs and you go into a chat room to declare that, “I know there is no God because no loving God would allow anyone to suffer as much as I…hold on. My cell phone’s ringing.”

8. You believe that if something cannot be touched, seen, heard, or measured in some way, then it must not exist, yet you fail to see the irony of your calling Christians “narrow-minded”.

9. You believe that priests are only in it for the money, despite the fact that they make less than almost anyone else with their level of education.

10. Your only knowledge of The Bible comes from searching ‘bible contradictions’ in Google.

11. You believe the movie Dogma gives the most accurate portrayal of Christian theology.

A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular culling of the weakest members.

In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.

In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

You might already know that Lego had a huge success with Lego video games, such as Batman, Indiana Jones, Star Wars and Harry Potter.

There are some rumors right now that Lego might get involved in the film industry, by releasing its own Legos movies! If this is really the case, here are some examples of what Lego movies might look like…

Added to the Funny Movies page