1. Hey! It’s my turn to sit in the front pew.
2. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.
3. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.
4. I’ve decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.
5. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.
6. Forget the denominational minimum salary, let’s pay our pastor so he can live like we do.
7. I love it when we sing hymns I’ve never heard before!
8. Since we’re all here, let’s start the service early.
9. Pastor, we’d like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.
10. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!

I like it: “Be nice with fat people. One day they might save your life.” Very funny, but OK, not very politically correct…

I like it: “Be nice with fat people. One day they might save your life.” Very funny, but OK, not very politically correct…

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal, they lay down and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see!”

“I see millions of stars,” Watson said.
“What does that tell you?” Holmes asked.

Watson replied. “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful. Meteorologically, I suspect we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Holmes?”

“Watson, you idiot,” he said. “Someone has stolen our tent!”

Here are some cats pictures that were taken at the New York Cat Fashion Show. The funny weird  thing about these pictures is that it looks like all the cats are unhappy to be there!

Here are the pictures of these unhappy cats!

Added to the Funny Animals page!

Learning to draw is very easy. Most of the time, drawing something or someone can be done in 2 steps.

As an example, here is how to draw an owl.

Step 1:Draw 2 circles.

Step 2: Draw the rest of the owl.

Easy, right?

Having a broken GPS in your car is not fun at all. But when it does not give you the right directions, it gets very bad…

Just a hint then: Please stop looking at the GPS little screen from time to time, and look in your window instead…

Need to be convinced? See this picture of someone who has a GPS problem…

Oh, and if you own one, here is a video of how to use a GPS… But if you want one, here is a picture of a cheap and reliable GPS!

In the back woods of Scotland, Ian’s wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.

To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said: “Here, you hold this high so I can see what I’m doing.” Soon, a wee baby boy was brought into the world.

“Whoa there Ian!” said the doctor. “Don’t be in a rush to put the lantern down…I think there’s yet another wee one to come yet.”

Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a bonnie lass.

“No, no, don’t be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, lad…It seems there’s yet another one besides!” cried the doctor.

Then Ian scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor: “Do ye think it’s the light that’s attractin’ them?”

Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day, were led down to the room in which they would meet their maker. The priest had given them last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants. The Warden, turning to the first man, solemnly asked, “Son, do you have a last request?”

To which the man replied, “Yes sir, I do. I love dance music. Could you please play Britney Spears for me one last time?”

“Certainly,” replied the warden. He turned to the other man and asked, “Well, what about you, son? What is your final request?”

“Please,” said the condemned man, “kill me first.”

A very funny t-shirt: “I love Big Mac”!

Available only in size Large, X-Large and XX-Large!